FAQs
What is ScapeGoat Ink’s T-shirt Return Policy?
Simple and easy, just like us. If you are dissatisfied with your order, you can
return your t-shirts for a prompt refund or exchange within 30 days of purchase
of your t-shirt. Refunds for t-shirts returned within 30 days of the purchase
date will be credited in the same form as the original payment type. T-shirts
that have been washed or worn will not be accepted. The original shipping and
handling charges are not refundable. Please mail your package in a prepaid,
insured, traceable method to the address below:
ScapeGoat Ink
P.O. Box 220849
Chicago, IL 60622
You guys mention yourselves a lot on ScapeGoat Ink. Who are you?
We’re just a couple of guys trying to live the dream and get a small piece of
the drinking T-shirt business so that we can fund our alcohol research. One day,
we hope to raise enough money to eliminate the only drawback to
drinking—the dreaded hangover. In the meantime, we hope to create hilarious,
original T-shirts that make you look good, feel good, jump higher, and get laid
more often. We’ve done a lot with our lives thus far, but it’s now time to help
our friend, Hans Götman,
by selling t-shirts to fund continuing research so we can find a cure.
Where do you get the ideas for your funny t-shirts?
In truth, alcohol has helped us considerably with the conceptualization of 99%
of our alcohol T-shirts. As for that 1%, well, we usually drop those sub-par
tshirt designs from our line before they go to production. Sobriety just isn’t
that funny.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why? (Not a question
about our hilarious t-shirts, but we’ll allow it.)
You mean besides immunity to hangovers? How about x-ray vision so we can become
super peepers and see what you’ve got going on under those T-shirts (high
five).
Are you two drinking t-shirt entrepreneurs as good-looking as I imagine you
are?
Of course not, we’re even better looking, especially without our t-shirts—imagine
that!
What kind of service can I expect from ScapeGoat Ink?
When you order your funny drinking t-shirts from ScapeGoat Ink, you can expect
only the best kind of service. We’re talking about the kind of service that
makes you feel good all over, as if ScapeGoat Ink just wrapped you in a warm
blanket on a cold winter night, gave you a cup of hot cocoa and set you in front
of the TV to watch your favorite cartoons, undisturbed. Unless you’re not into
any of that, in which case ScapeGoat Ink’s service is nothing like that at all,
it’s more like…(insert your ideal analogy here).
Who inspires ScapeGoat Ink?
In truth, there are far too many sources of inspiration for ScapeGoat Ink to
list in this small amount of space, but it’s safe to say that Hans “The Goat
Man” Götman is the primary inspiration for the creation of our alcohol t-shirts.
Without his guidance, we’d probably just be a couple of drunken idiots. Now,
we’re a couple of drunken idiots with a purpose, to create a high-quality drinking
t-shirts and fund our continuing alcohol research.
How did this t-shirt idea materialize?
Oh, that t-shirt idea? It was fairly simple, we…wait, what?
Do you think your ScapeGoat t-shirts are funny?
No. We think our t-shirts are hilarious.
I’ve read a few of your drinking t-shirt designs and I don’t think you’re very
funny.
Hey, wait a minute—that’s not a question, how’d that get in here? Listen, we
understand that not everyone shares our sense of humor, in general or in
t-shirt form. One person may think we’re even funnier than poop-wielding
monkeys wearing banana peel hats, (which, consequently, happens to comprise the
majority of our creative staff). Others may just think we’re idiots. Its okay,
everyone is entitled to an opinion—even if it’s not a very good one—and which
will undoubtedly result in the resignation of countless hardworking,
poop-wielding monkeys, forcing them to remove their banana peel hats and return
to the wild. You’ll have a clear conscience, though; I’m sure they’ll be able
to survive.
I really like your t-shirt ideas, but I don’t wear T-shirts, what should I do?
Even if you’re not a dedicated T-shirt wearer, ScapeGoat Ink t-shirts make a
great gift for loved ones, friends, co-workers, enemies, your lunch lady, or
even that comical bum who hangs out on the corner swearing at rocks. (Tell
Larry we said hi.) Plus, the nice thing about funny drinking T-shirts is
they’re always in season. So even if you live somewhere with a fluctuating
climate you can still rock them over warmer clothing. Finally, recent studies*
revealed that purchasers of ScapeGoat Ink T-shirts got laid between 0-100% more
often than non-ScapeGoat Ink T-shirt wearers. You do the math.
*These studies were paid for by ScapeGoat Ink and the discovered information
may have been created just now.
Will wearing your drinking t-shirts really help me score with the opposite sex?
Um, do farts stink? You bet your ass.